What a Croc!

Dakosaurus andiniensis, better known to his/her friends as "That bad Mofo" has been nicknamed by paleontologists as, "Godzilla."

I kid you not.

*Cue National Geographic special theme music*

From the famed institution comes this:

Researchers have unearthed fossil evidence of a 135-million-year-old "sea monster" they're calling Godzilla.

A large skull of the animal was found in southern Argentina in an area that was once part of the Pacific Ocean.

Named Dakosaurus andiniensis, the creature is an entirely new species of ancient crocodile. It had a head like a carnivorous dinosaur and a tail like a fish. With its massive jaws and serrated teeth, it preyed on other marine reptiles.

Totally unique among marine crocodiles, "it is one of the most evolved members of the crocodilian family and also one of the most bizarre," said Diego Pol, a paleontologist at Ohio State University in Columbus, who served on the research team.

The research, led by Zulma Gasparini, a paleontologist at Argentina's Universidad Nacional de La Plata, was funded by the National Geographic Society. The discovery is described tomorrow in the journal Science and will appear on the cover of the December 2005 issue of National Geographic magazine.

Carnivorous Dinosaur

The creature's almost intact skull was found in 1996 in Argentina's Neuquén Basin, a region that was once a deep tropical bay of the Pacific Ocean. Prior to the find, researchers had only sketchy fossil evidence of the fearsome sea monster.

They have now established that the giant animal belongs to the crocodyliforms, which include today's crocodiles and their extinct relatives. Marine crocs were abundant during the Jurassic period some 200 million to 145 million years ago. At that time they were found worldwide.

A bit further along in the article we find this:

The researchers don't yet know what events triggered the relatively sudden emergence of Dakosaurus, nor do they know what caused it to go extinct.

The massive research team at pure bs may have found the answer to this vexing issue.

For the non-scientist out there(Kansas students, listen up), we offer this easy explanation. The crocodilian known as Dakosaurus andiniensis was created just in time to board Noah's ark. Hey, we all know how much The Lord likes a laugh, and lo, he created this super carnivore in what modern terms can best be appreciated as analagous to the television sit-com. "Hey, I'll make this super-duper gator type thing, that eats any critter smaller - or larger - than itself, dump a couple on The Ark and watch the fun!"

Well, the fun ended when Mr. and Mrs. Andiniensis(traditional family unit) ate everything on The Ark, then died of simple starvation. Now, we know what you're probably thinking: If Mr. and Mrs. A ate all the other animals on The Ark, then how come we have such a wonderful and diverse variety of fauna on the planet today?

The answer is as plain as the nose on your face. God, realizing his mistake, conjured into existence another ark, less those irrepressible madcaps, the Andiniensis family. Hence Noah and the crew sailed into history as saviors of the planet. Almost a Little House on The Prairie type storyline. Except that the prairie was covered by miles of water. And there was no big boat. And no Michael Landon. Okay, so it's not a perfect 'arketype'(note the ancient spelling), but it's perfectly salvageable if you look beyond the facts to the Real Truth™.

This unknown chapter in the book of Genesis was pulled from The Bible prior to publication.

See, it all makes perfect sense if you know the end result and work backwards from there.

That's exactly how that Darwin fellow(Satan) dreamed up that ridiculous theory about 'decent with modification.' AKA Evilution!