XXXtreem Bigotry!
..//Brought to you nearly live by RIGHT-WING PUNDITS!
Todd: Tonight on XXXreem, boy, those RIGHTies are really in the Christmas spirit! And we bring it to you nearly LIVE!
I'm here with my co-host, Tom Hun to discuss the daily savagings of limp-wristed Lefties, non-Aryan culture and a whole host of other topics of import to the RIGHT!
Tonight we look at two items by pillars of the RIGHT, Bill O' Reilly, and Ann Coulter.
Tom, do you have anything to add before we begin our first segment?
Tom Hun: Um, No.
Todd: Thanks ever so much for sharing that insight with our viewers, Tom. You really are a clueless (bleep) aren't you?
Tom: Uh, yes. But I'm pretty.
Todd: I'll pretend you never said that, you useless soiled teabag. Getting back on track, in our opening segment, that bastion of vitriole, Bill "Kill a Hack for Jesus" O'Reilly says this on his 'Daily Hate' radio program:
Tom Hun: You have to love those clipped sentences, Tom. Nothing appeals to the short attention span crowd like...um, where was I going with this?
Todd: Hell if I know, Tom. [laughter] For all I know, You're a closet butt pirate. I have no idea why I just tossed that out, but it's XXXtreem!
Tom Hun: What?
Todd: We'll be RIGHT back after this commercial break! Stay tuned!
Todd: Now, in part two of Hateapalooza 2005, that blonde pundit, Ms..or is it Mr. Tom?
Tom Hun: I dunno, kinda hard to tell. She looks like she might have a package.
Todd: Regardless, Ann "Maim a Kitten, Cuz It's Fun" Coulter writes in her always informative 'Weekly Brownshirt' column:
Anything to add, Tom?
Tom Hun: Just one quick thought, Todd. Coulter missed hitting that one out of the park by not expressly stating that libruls go directly to Gitmo. Habeas corpus is for losers, Todd.
Todd: I'd say pussies, but essentially, you got that RIGHT, Tom![laughter]
Well, we're out of time, and we'll see you RIGHT here next week for another installment of Hard RIGHT unqualified and unresearched news. News for the RIGHT news that matters!
For XXXtreem Bigotry, this is Todd "The Left is Never" Wright, and Tom "I'm named after Attila" Hun, saying So Right! See you next week for our another segment of XXXtreem Bigotry!
Merry Aryan Christmas to you all!
Goodnight everyone!
Tom Hun: Todd, you're a narcissistic bastid.
Todd: Why thank you, Tom. And a Merry Christmas to you as well. You wanna maybe get a drink or something..or something?
*****
Stay tuned to Fox for another episode of Great Reich History, as our expert team of historians examine the 1939 German invasion of Poland in Great Reich History: Blitzkreig, the Poles went crazy over it!.
*****
Many thanks to the folks at Media Matters. The material for our fist segment was taken from this piece. The Ann Coulter item was robbed here. See both pieces for added color and background.
It's all true.
Lest anyone think I've completely left my mind, the above is intended purely as political satire. The statements made by O'Reilly and Coulter are most likely accurate, as Media Matters seldom mis-steps, but fortunately, the balance is pure fancy.
Todd: Tonight on XXXreem, boy, those RIGHTies are really in the Christmas spirit! And we bring it to you nearly LIVE!
I'm here with my co-host, Tom Hun to discuss the daily savagings of limp-wristed Lefties, non-Aryan culture and a whole host of other topics of import to the RIGHT!
Tonight we look at two items by pillars of the RIGHT, Bill O' Reilly, and Ann Coulter.
Tom, do you have anything to add before we begin our first segment?
Tom Hun: Um, No.
Todd: Thanks ever so much for sharing that insight with our viewers, Tom. You really are a clueless (bleep) aren't you?
Tom: Uh, yes. But I'm pretty.
Todd: I'll pretend you never said that, you useless soiled teabag. Getting back on track, in our opening segment, that bastion of vitriole, Bill "Kill a Hack for Jesus" O'Reilly says this on his 'Daily Hate' radio program:
O'REILLY: All right, "No Spin News" real quick. Transit strike hits New York City. New York says it's against the law. The transit people don't care, and da-da-da -- 33,000 transit employees, and they're gone, so everybody's walking around. There's price gouging. A friend of mine told me that his daughter had to go out to the airport, a run that would cost you 40 bucks, and then somebody wants $300 to take you out there, you know, that kind of thing. Immediately, that person should be shot dead. Did you get that, you left-wing smear sites who are listening? OK? Just pass that around -- "O'Reilly wants cab drivers shot dead" -- big headline on the left-wing website. You gotta give them something, ladies and gentlemen. [laughter] These little weasels.WOW. Now that's Harsh! Way to go, Billy O!
Tom Hun: You have to love those clipped sentences, Tom. Nothing appeals to the short attention span crowd like...um, where was I going with this?
Todd: Hell if I know, Tom. [laughter] For all I know, You're a closet butt pirate. I have no idea why I just tossed that out, but it's XXXtreem!
Tom Hun: What?
Todd: We'll be RIGHT back after this commercial break! Stay tuned!
Todd: Now, in part two of Hateapalooza 2005, that blonde pundit, Ms..or is it Mr. Tom?
Tom Hun: I dunno, kinda hard to tell. She looks like she might have a package.
Todd: Regardless, Ann "Maim a Kitten, Cuz It's Fun" Coulter writes in her always informative 'Weekly Brownshirt' column:
[...]Damn it, Tom. Ann really puts it together here. Spying on all arabs, pitching daisy cutters recklessly in the cradle of civilization, and all the while never forgetting that all those damned libruls ought to sent to Camp X-Ray! You're Damned Right, Ann!
Which brings me to this week's scandal about No Such Agency [NSA] spying on "Americans." I have difficulty ginning up much interest in this story inasmuch as I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East and sending liberals to Guantanamo.
Anything to add, Tom?
Tom Hun: Just one quick thought, Todd. Coulter missed hitting that one out of the park by not expressly stating that libruls go directly to Gitmo. Habeas corpus is for losers, Todd.
Todd: I'd say pussies, but essentially, you got that RIGHT, Tom![laughter]
Well, we're out of time, and we'll see you RIGHT here next week for another installment of Hard RIGHT unqualified and unresearched news. News for the RIGHT news that matters!
For XXXtreem Bigotry, this is Todd "The Left is Never" Wright, and Tom "I'm named after Attila" Hun, saying So Right! See you next week for our another segment of XXXtreem Bigotry!
Merry Aryan Christmas to you all!
Goodnight everyone!
Tom Hun: Todd, you're a narcissistic bastid.
Todd: Why thank you, Tom. And a Merry Christmas to you as well. You wanna maybe get a drink or something..or something?
*****
Stay tuned to Fox for another episode of Great Reich History, as our expert team of historians examine the 1939 German invasion of Poland in Great Reich History: Blitzkreig, the Poles went crazy over it!.
*****
Many thanks to the folks at Media Matters. The material for our fist segment was taken from this piece. The Ann Coulter item was robbed here. See both pieces for added color and background.
It's all true.
Lest anyone think I've completely left my mind, the above is intended purely as political satire. The statements made by O'Reilly and Coulter are most likely accurate, as Media Matters seldom mis-steps, but fortunately, the balance is pure fancy.
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